48:Two steps forward, two steps back

I’m making a rug for my spare room / creative space. At least I had big plans to make a rug.

When I started this commitment to get my balance back I had a lot of enthusiasm and dedication. I’m just over halfway through and I’m starting to have doubts.

rug
Image by Quinn Dombrowski at https://www.flickr.com/photos/quinnanya/2222558947

At the beginning it’s easy to see progress. I guess I was in such a dark place that anything was an improvement. Plus, I was doing something about it! And that felt good.

6 weeks in and I’m losing momentum. I’m not meditating as much, I’m not doing anywhere near as much exercise as I should be, and I’m even feeling like crying at various points throughout the day.

As for the rug, it’s been bothering me. It’s a great idea and will look good when it’s done. It’ll just take a lot of time. I also decided today to unravel everything I’d done so far and start again with smaller pieces of fabric. It was a good decision but it means it’s going to take even longer to finish it.

So here I am, stuck with an unraveled rug and feelings of underachievement. That’s difficult.

xx Eloise

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