I’m just over a third of my way through the time I’ve set aside to get my balance back. Time for a review.
Right now. Right this very minute I feel good. Really good. And it’s not because things are finally going well for me (they’re not) and I have so much more to smile about (not really), it seems to be that despite bad things happening this week I feel more stable and grounded than I have in months.
My depressive cycle is over. Of course depression may – and probably will – come back at some stage in my life but at the moment it has been lifted and I can see clearly. Those negative thoughts running through my head constantly have gone. My dreaming of the past and wishing I could get my old self back has stopped. Even the feelings of guilt for putting myself first has dissipated. This is excellent.
This week I’ve had a sick child in hospital, a fetus threatening to up and leave and very little sleep. I’ve had morning sickness, jabbing pain from an ovarian cyst and an insatiable hunger. I’ve had medical appointment after medical appointment and very little spare time.
But you know what? I’ve survived. And that’s called resilience.