On just my second day into getting my balance back I get a serious case of the guilts.
Why should I have the time off? Why do I need to focus on me? I’m not even that sick!
When I’m feeling low (and I’ve been feeling very low lately) I can recognise that I’m in a very bad place and know I need help. But as soon as I start to feel the slightest bit better I begin to question it. These little thoughts begin to sneak into my mind that undermine the whole focus of what I’m trying to achieve.
What you’re going through is nothing compared to others in the world.
And that is true. There are many people in this world who have it much worse than me. There are people with health issues (like me) and who are having trouble carrying a baby (like me) and who are suffering from depression (like me), but who have a range of other issues going on. I think of the refugees from Syria at the moment who are struggling to find a new home – how does a woman with my health issues survive in a place like that?
But here’s my answer to that voice in my head telling me I don’t have it that bad: I have the opportunity to improve my life that others don’t (but they so wish they did). I have the opportunity to become a better person for me and my family, that others never will.
So I have no choice but to take it.